This isn't the first time I've had to come back to self. It's not the first time I lost me, fell deep in a hole or felt like a shell of myself. Not the first time I've had to fight my way back, reorganize priorities to heal, or depend on others to function. Whether postpartum, or craniotomy, or chronic health diagnosis, or ...the latest blip in my story that ran for 6 months (and counting) starting summer of 2022.
What do you do when you've been faced with crisis or chronic (health, relationship, life, etc) conditions, leading or adding to the trauma ( the person's emotional response to a/some distressing experiences) that you are already trying to work through? How do you feel when "it happens again"? How do you cope when the freedom you know is yanked away suddenly, then dripped back to resuscitate a limp to life self, then jerked away again? What do you do when your faith is entirely rocked, you walk the stages of grief out loud, and realize this time is worse than the first time because it is excavating places in you that still need to heal.
You pause.
You ask for help.
You take the help.
You experience suffering.
You experience expressions of joy.
You bare the hot mess that you are.
You ask others to pray, because you just can't. And won't.
You stop all outside movement, to focus on the immediate in order to heal.
You wait, and grieve, and purge, and rely, and rest, and heal, and question, and learn, and receive so that when you are ready you can feel inspired again and move forward.
You realize that you were there before, and you may be again, and again.
This life is a full journey of heart-ache+heart-swell, ash+beauty, grey+color, joy+pain.
I'm finally coming back to myself, and this is my short recap on where I was, where I am, and where I'd like to go. This ordinary person, living an extraordinary life.
Welome Season 3.
Welcome You.
Welcome to the Conversation.
Social Creative Workshops | Social Creative Conversations Podcast
Amy Vallejo | founder, co-collaborator
wearesocialcreativeworkshops@gmail.com
www.wearesocialcreative.com
@socialcreativeworkshops